The One and Only Eeveelution Team!
by Mochytea
Summary: Who protects the world from online criminals? The Eeveelution Team, that's who? Too bad they suck at teamwork.  ONESHOT  Rated T for mild language and complete nonsense. :D


The Earth is polluted with criminals. Those who steal, murder, and commit INAPPROPRIATE actions flock around 'safe' neighborhoods. Then there are the heroes who bring those villains to justice and have them punished for their actions. Our story goes to a certain teenager, an expert at computers who decided to go down the dark path and hack the living daylights out of all those poor, innocent people's PCs. It also goes to a certain group of girls with strange, mysterious powers who are determined to catch that hacker red-handed and save the teenage world from cyber space bullying and identity theft…

All was clear. The room was completely empty, apart for a large wooden desk and a high-tech computer sitting on it. The screen flickered faintly, meaning that it was on sleep mode. A slow, incredibly annoying squeak emitted from the door, and a person emerged.

He was a short teenager with wire-frame glasses and a small box. Creeping into the room like a rat, he pulled over a dusty chair and sat down at the computer. All was well.

Waking it up, he began to furiously type at the keyboard, like his life depended on it. Well, his life _did_ depend on it. If he didn't steal the PC's owner's ID, _he'd_ be the one to fall into misfortune.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he was finished. The owner no longer had access to his credit card and other personal accounts. He wiped the sweat from his brow and began to pack up his tools, when suddenly…

BAM! The door flew open, and eight, yes EIGHT, teenage girls burst into the room. Also known as the Eeveelution team.

"So YOU are that notorious hacker, who had stolen several IDs and planted viruses into people's computers! HA! You are caught RED-HANDED!" The girl who had spoken wearing the strangest costume yelled at the hacker. She wore a blue, one-piece bathing suit, dark blue swimming shorts, a tassel skirt and water shoes. A fish fin headband sat on her cranium, the fins waving wildly as she bobbed her head.

"Um, Mo-," started the girl in the light brown head scarf.

"SHUT UP! IT'S VAPOREON IN FRONT OF HIM, EEVEE!" Vaporeon hollered. Eevee, in a simple, light brown dress, long white leggings, and fluffy (fake) fur scarf sighed. "How are we going to catch him?"

"Um…wait, hold on…I had that thing I borrowed from Giraffe…" she murmured.

"You mean Dewey?" Another teenager wearing a spiky yellow shirt with a spiky white collar and white skinny jeans muttered, annoyed at being forced into this whole set up.

"Shush, Jolteon! Shit, doesn't anyone know about DISGUISES around here?" The girl groaned and glanced at her incredibly pissed companions.

"And _Vaporeon_?"

"What, Leafeon?"

Leafeon pointed at the open window, her tan dress with green leaf designs waving in the wind. "He's trying to jump out the window."

"Damn it!" yelled Vaporeon.

And indeed he was. The young hacker already had one foot outside when a short, dark-haired girl in a black dress and skinny jeans adorned with yellow rings said, "We're four stories high, dumbass."

Which was very true. He gulped as he looked out the window and saw how high up he was.

Cautiously, he lifted his leg back to the safety of inside and closed the window.

"AHA! I found it, Leafeon!" The Vaporeon girl once again shouted her words right in front of the team. Leafeon shouted back, "We're right here! WOW!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled in response.

"NEVER, YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!"

"YOUR FACE IS MEAN!"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!"

"YOUR FACE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"STOP THAT!"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE F*** UP!" exploded Jolteon, her dirty blond hair blowing all over the place from the agitation.

"Jeez, Jolteon, alright!" Vaporeon muttered again. "Leafeon, Vine Whip!" The half-Asian ran up to the hacker with bright green rope and tied him up using very strange knots. Then, Vaporeon's eyes brightened when she saw the dangerous object in her hands. The hacker, watching in confusion, jumped at the object in her hands. _What is she…_, he thought to himself.

"ALRIGHT! VAPOREON'S SUPER DUPER TOTALLY AWESOME MOVE! WATER GUN!" While speaking, she began to pump the large water gun in her hands, then pulled the trigger. The hacker cringed, waiting for an incredibly strong jet of water, but.

All that came out was a single drop.

"HOLY SHIT! I FORGOT TO REFILL IT!"

"WOW!" yelled Leafeon.

The hacker sweatdropped.

"Ugh!" Vaporeon groaned. Then she yelled, "GO JOLTEON! USE SPARK!"

_Now what?_ The hacker lifted an eyebrow as the girl in yellow stepped up. Suddenly, she whipped out a large piece of carpeting from absolutely _nowhere_ , pulled off her shoes and began to rub her feet against the square.

_Um?_

After like, five minutes, Jolteon ran up to the hacker and glared at him. The hacker sweatdropped again. Then, she poked him hard, right on his nose.

BZZT. "Owww! OW! That hurt, you know!" wailed the hacker, rubbing his face after the static shock.

"Alright, Jolteon!" Vaporeon held out her hand and the two high-fived.

BZZT. "OWW! You know Electric is my weakness! THAT HURT!"

Jolteon just grinned in satisfaction and returned to the group.

"Okay, Espeon, it's your turn!" A tall, blond girl wearing glasses and a lavender leotard and violet skirt hopped up. A large red oval was carelessly drawn on her forehead. "Okay!" she exclaimed, all excited.

"Use Psychic!"

"Yay!"

Espeon walked right up to the tied up teen, pointed to the oval on her forehead with both her pointer fingers, and tightly shut her eyes. "Ohmmmm….." she murmured.

All of a sudden, she stopped and opened her eyes, a confused expression on her face. Then, she raised her hand.

Vaporeon groaned once more. "What, Espeon?"

"Um, I forgot. Do I hypnotize him or myself?"

Everyone in the room fell over.

"Never mind, Espeon. Go back."

She leapt back into the group.

"Glaceon! Your turn!"

A girl weaing an ice-blue dress with diamond shapes on it danced out. Everyone else fell over again.

"Who the hell is that?"

"I thought there were only seven of us!"

"EVERYONE, MEET….GLACEON, MY IMAGINARY FRIEND!"

Glaceon, who happened to be overly cheerful, waved excitedly. Then, she tripped over air. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Okay, Glaceon, use Ice Shard!"

"ROGER!"

The girl brought out a bucket of ice from absolutely freaking nowhere and began flinging them at the hacker.

"Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" The hacker whined as bits of ice struck his face. Soon, it turned red and damp from the frozen water pellets.

"Good! Now, Umbreon!"

The girl in black and yellow stepped up.

"Perish Song!"

She whipped out an iPod from her pocket (yes, a pocket) and began to play…DUN DUN DUN…YO GABBA GABBA!

"No! MY EARS! MAKE IT STOP!" Everyone else, however had put in ear plugs and laughed at the hacker's misery. Except for Umbreon, since she was playing it. Perish Song knocks out anyone who hears it for three turns. In this case, three minutes. But just before the last minute was up, Espeon tripped on air and broke the iPod. "SCREW YOU! NOW YOU HAVE TO BUY ME A NEW iPod AND TREAT ME TO RAMEN!" yelled Umbreon in anguish.

"Alright! Now, to finish him off! Flareon!"

The last, quiet girl with fluffy blond hair, a bright red dress and a (fake) fur collar walked over. "Hey, what about me?" whined Eevee.

"You're a normal type and too uptight, so you just stand there," said Vaporeon dismissively.

"Wow, that's the first time you didn't actually yell," marveled Jolteon.

"No, she murmured about Giraffe-I mean Dewey- in the beginning," remarked Leafeon.

"Hey, you're right…" added Umbreon.

"What?" Espeon looked confused.

Suddenly, they realized who Vaporeon called. "FLAREON?"

"NO, VAPOREON! DON'T CALL HER!"

"SHE'LL BLOW UP THIS WHOLE BUILDING!"

"YA FREAKIN' BUM!"

But alas, it was too late. Flareon, though she was normally calm and quiet, had a sudden burst of deranged energy as soon as she pulled out a lighter from nowhere.

The hacker's eyes widened and sweat began to form on his brow.

"EXPLOSION!" hollered Vaporeon.

"RAWR!" Flareon threw gunpowder on the floor (where did that come from?) and flicked the lighter on. The flame illuminated her evilly grinning face, making her look completely scary.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" With that evil laugh, she set the gunpowder on fire.

BOOOOOOOM! The room exploded, making the entire fourth floor of the building crumble, causing the third floor to wobble, and the rest of the floors shook and collapsed. It fell over in a poof of smoke. The Eeveelution Team was half buried under the rubble. The hacker, escaping unharmed, danced away like the little gay creeper he was. The police arrived, and upon hearing the girls' story and seeing their costumes, deemed them mentally unstable and locked them away in an asylum for the rest of their lives with Vaporeon, the Pokémon freak who got them into this whole mess.

THE END.

**Hi guys! Well, this is just a little story I wrote for my friends (no, they're not Pokémon freaks; I'm the one who is). ONESHOT.**


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